Creative Writing Tutorials

Tales of Terraian. The Battle of Chim-near.

The night was dark and quiet. The city of Chim-near, in county Durmuf, of the Red Knights Kingdom, was sleeping under a moon-lit sky. The sentries stationed around the walls patrolled ceaselessly, alert for any such vile creatures as Orcs, Slenders or worse.

One such sentry was patrolling the gate when he caught sight of three figures on horseback approaching it. At first, he wasn't sure who they were, but, when he saw their armour, he hastily opened the gate. They were knights of the Solomon Guardians chapter, the first of the knightly orders. The knights rode into the city, and made their way into the street. The sentry rushed down the steps to greet them. Upon seeing them, however, he stopped. All he could say was, " In the name of..." and nothing else. The Knights armour was bloodstain and dented, as were their helmets. Their was a look of coldness in their eyes, and the horse were tired and weary. At the sound of the sentry's voice, one of them turned to him. He spoke one word. " Water." The sentry hurrier got some, poured it into a mug and handed it to him. The Knight took a long drink, then spoke again. " Thank you. Now tell me, where are we?" He asked. " Chim-near." replied the sentry. The knight looked around the at city. " Tell me. This city.... Dose it have a count or duke?" he asked. " No sir, but the local Baron has taken residents here. In the Castle. " he replied. " Good." said the knight. He turned to his companies. " Then he had best be on are way, my friends. Lets go." And with that, He and his fellows rode off for the Barons Castle.




Seems cool, but of course short. I'm assuming the first two sentences are titles, not part of the story.

"The night was dark and quiet" is a bit of a cliche, as well as not much of a hook, consider changing. Also, there's a typo in the fourth sentence.

I would suggest creating a new paragraph at "One such..."